MICHEL MARTIN, HOST:
Today is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, the day of atonement. Across the U.S., communities and families are coming together to fast, pray, reflect and celebrate, or they're not. There are divisions over Israel and Gaza. Deena Prichep reports.
DEENA PRICHEP, BYLINE: Adam (ph) has fond memories of Yom Kippur growing up, the salmon and noodle kugels after the fast, even sitting through the long services.
ADAM: There's something really beautiful about sitting in a room full of people who are all speaking the same prayer, saying the same blessings.
PRICHEP: But now...
ADAM: We are talking about atoning for our sins, and I just think, I can't do this with people who are still silent about a genocide being carried out in our name.
PRICHEP: He's talking about accusations that Israel has committed genocide against Palestinians in Gaza, a charge Israel strongly denies. Adam asked that NPR only use his first name because of the potential impact on his family of speaking critically about Israeli actions. He's been organizing with Jewish anti-Zionists, who oppose the concept of a Jewish state, and has felt the divides within the Jewish community and at home.
ADAM: I think my mom is maybe, you know, the most important person in my life. And that closeness - to have it be interrupted by something that, to me, feels so obvious - why can't we just agree? And if we can't agree, why can't we just talk about it?
LAURIE: This has been the first issue probably ever that we aren't comfortable talking about.
PRICHEP: Laurie (ph) is Adam's mom. Like Adam, she asked that NPR just use her first name. While Laurie has significant criticisms of the Israeli government, she ultimately supports the state, and she loves her son. But when they've tried to discuss this, they both just get upset.
LAURIE: Most of the families I know, they just kind of agree not to talk about it. Do you know the term shalom bayit?
PRICHEP: It's a Hebrew phrase that means peace in the home.
LAURIE: I would say that to Adam on occasion, and he feels like I'm telling him he can't talk about things he feels strongly about, which is not what I'm saying.
PRICHEP: She just wants to be able to come together and not get derailed by fights that go nowhere. So that's what they've done. But Rabbanit Dasi Fruchter, an Orthodox rabbinic leader, says there's also another Hebrew phrase to remember.
DASI FRUCHTER: Machloket l'shem shamayim, an argument for the sake of heaven.
PRICHEP: She says this term refers to letting go of fear and ego so that you can find the truth together.
FRUCHTER: If you are having that kind of argument, then it's a good argument. It's actually one of the really strong foundations of Jewish rabbinic life. It just has to come from a place of wanting to reach a better world.
PRICHEP: Fruchter's congregation, the South Philadelphia Shtiebel, includes people on all sides of this issue. And she says that can be tricky. But it's also the heart of what they're doing.
FRUCHTER: Being together in the same room isn't just, like, some exercise in pluralism or civic identity, but it is the essence of what it means to be a person in the world and in Jewish community.
PRICHEP: And Fruchter says the Jewish world has tools for that, including Yom Kippur.
FRUCHTER: It's a holiday where all of the confessions that we make are in the plural. So we have sinned. We have misspoke. We have done these things. The reason being, we all have. And also, we're all in it together.
PRICHEP: Since October 7, survey after survey have shown divisions in the Jewish community, and some of those divisions have widened into gulfs and lines that can't be crossed. But some people are still finding their way to each other, including Adam. He told his mom that he'd like to come home for future holidays. But first, they'd really have to talk about things. And she said OK. Laurie says that conversation, just about having a conversation, felt like a step forward.
LAURIE: Just calmly talking about it. We actually felt like we were both heard. So maybe we're just both maturing (laughter). This is really hard.
PRICHEP: And so is Yom Kippur. People give up food and reflect on their worst moments. But it's a path for clearing the slate, making real change, a time when Jews ask God to move from judgment to compassion and try to do the same in their own lives.
For NPR News, I'm Deena Prichep. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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